Pictures!

OK... honestly, I think I have selective memory. Let me REALLY think about this one... One time a kid at school said I walked like the elephant man, I think we were about 10 years old. I was really mostly angry because I love Joseph Merrick and was mad that somebody was trying to use his name as an insult. I told the teacher and (I went to a private religious school) that kid was expelled shortly after. I'm sure it wasn't that incident that did it, but I'm sure it didn't help. There were just a lot of pointing, and I would pretend that people were pointing at me because I was a movie star. Boys always treated me as 'a friend' and although I thought that was really annoying at the time, I'm glad now because I have a lot of male friends as an adult. People did a lot of talking and laughing behind my back as a kid, but that happens to everyone. I was no angel myself. I could be pretty rotten too. That's just being a kid. I think going to a small school really made a difference because people knew me and it's harder to make fun of someone when you have to see them everyday. My tactic as a child was to overcompensate and really focus on my strengths. So, instead of making fun of me, kids would say, wow... you can draw really well. Or wow, that's cool that you play guitar. My parents really supported my interests and really pushed me to excel at things that I was interested in. The minute I said I wanted to learn guitar, my parents bought me one and paid for lessons. I still play today. My parents taught me to focus on what I'm good at and to ham it up. If people are going to look at you, well.. give them something to look at. If I ever came to my mom and said, I don't like the way I walk, or boys don't like me of my body, she never enforced my beliefs. She'd listen, feel my pain, but that's it. At my appointments at the Shrine, she would never say, hey, can you make it so she doesn't walk like that? Or... can you make her leg look a little bit more realistic? It was nothing but positivity coming out of my mother's mouth, 24/7. She really made me believe that I was a superstar. Another great idea was that she encouraged me to bring an old prosthetic leg the first day of school for show and tell. Everyone asked questions and I passed the leg around. It was cool because everyone got it out of their system then and I was in control. As far as not being included, if I could not participate in something, I did something else cool while the other kids did their thing. For some sports I'd 'sit out' with my pencil and paper and draw really funny drawings. When they kids got back, they'd get a kick out of what I did.

LONG STORY SHORT, I think if you love your kids and speak positively to them, that's what matters. That's what I try to do as a mother now. I now I'll make mistakes, but you just try your best. And that goes for any parent and any kid. You seem very cool and I'm sure your little one will do just fine. I think being 'different' widens your views and allows you to be vunerable, which is important in life. Every person is different, it's just some of our difference are more obvious. If people that don't have to work at things, they don't get that satisfaction from success after struggle.

Thanks for writing. Good luck.